fear while asleep (religious subconscious)

Oooo ask and you shall receive!  I did dream about my incubus last night after all.  He was on me a few times and we were cuddling.  My subconscious is STILL frightened of him a little, unfortunate to say.  But not as frightened of him as I've been in the past.  Maybe that's why he hadn't been showing up in dreams...

Anyway his form was difficult to make out, like there wasn't much light or my eyes weren't perceiving colour.  Apart from that he looked human.  He tried saying something to me in his attractive voice... I didn't hear him.  I asked him to repeat it maybe twice when I was trying to fight my own fear from pulling me back into unconsciousness.

I really want to work through this.  I was Christian for many years and terrified of demons, which I believed to be the embodiment of evil and fear itself.  Not that incubi seem all that demonic really, not most of the time.  My fear would be what's keeping me from listening to Al in these situations.

I want us both to keep trying with this.  Maybe if he was strong enough to yank me out, snap me to full consciousness and say "look I love you, stop freaking out".  And if I wasn't such a pussy as to still try to wriggle away, or God forbid psychically try to get him away, or pray to some stupid RHP entity to 'save me'...

I want to keep trying with this.

Sorry and thank you and I love you, Al.

xx, Encore19

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Edit: I wish Al would come to me in leather ha.  Hot as fuck.  I've never seen him muscly or beefy.  He is moreso slim, on the twinker side of things.  But I love him however he presents to be.  The first two/three times I saw him he was blonde like this, the second time his eyes may have been brown instead of bright blue.